These last few days have just been a mess of school, attempting to cook in the kitchen here... life in general just kicking in. Today we went to the zoo though! It was nice to do something other than... drink, or shop, or look at buildings... although all of that is fun, it is beginning to get old. I am beginning to miss home, I feel so far away sometimes... especially because my family and I can't get skype to work properly, so it is more instant messaging than real life conversation. I miss my friends too... everything here is so different, every single day. I miss working... lol, I guess this is my homesick blog. Even though I am finding myself missing things I wasn't expecting to miss, I still know that stepping onto that plane was one of the best, and most... mature (maybe) decisions I have ever made. Already I know I am growing up, accepting responsibility. I am (almost) supporting myself. Grocery shopping and cleaning are regular occurences now... surprise surprise, eh? Who would have thought! I've always been a big kid... and even though I am not admitting that I have grown up, I am getting there. I hope I am making sense! All I know is that I am meeting amazing people here, with the same ambitions as myself, and although I miss my life back home, I am loving every minute of it. Sometimes it is lonely, being in a strange place, not knowing people, especially having grown up in as small a community as Lethbridge. Back home you know someone everywhere you go. Here I walk for hours and see something new everytime. Not having a phone, I am cut off, which is nice, but an inconvienence at times. I love it here though. The cold is setting it, which still isn't all that deadly, unlike home. I'm used to just going for a drive when I need to calm down, blasting my music and just cruising down Alberta highways... I don't have that here, which is frustrating, but I am learning to find new outlets, if that makes sense. I miss dance too... I can't sleep at night sometimes, because I don't have a method yet to just put everything out there, now it is all swirling around my head all the time. I miss my routine, I miss my home, I miss my family... for so long I would look for an escape from the regular, look for an adventure. Now that I am here, it is still surreal that I have finally made it happen. I made this whole adventure... this opportuinity of a lifetime happen. I hope it doesn't sound wrong, but I am proud of myself. Walking away from my dad, and driving to the airport... Walking away from my mom and my sister for the last time in I don't even know how long, I thought that was nearly impossible, but I did it. I made it. I'm in freaking POLAND. Who would have thought? A small town Alberta girl leaving everything she has ever know. God damnit that sounds cheesy, but that's how I feel. I am actually doing what I have dreamed about for... I don't know how long. I have ended relationships to be here, and even though I miss what I had, I hold no regrets. You can't, not when you are experiencing everything I am. Even though there are parties... a lot of parties, and this is my temporary home, this is my new life. I know a year from now when I look back on these blogs, I will probably think I am insane for missing boring old Lethbridge, but Lethbridge is my home. It may not be where I belong, but it is where my home is... and you know the saying "home is where the heart is", home will always be where my heart is. Where I can walk into my highschool and know people, going to the mall means seeing old friends, and going out means getting rowdy with friends from a farm, where, yes, there are cows. I read a few quotes that I reallllllly, just feel the need to share, they sort of put my experience in words... because I, quite obviously, cannot;
“I see my path, but I don't know where it leads. Not knowing where I'm going is what inspires me to travel it.”
-Rosalia de Castro
“Adventure must start with running away from home”
-William Bolitho
“A (wo)man practices the art of adventure when (s)he breaks the chain of routine and renews his(/her) life through reading new books, travelling to new place, making new friends, taking up new hobbies and adopting new viewpoints”
-Wilfred Peterson
Life is a journey, the outcomes and the ultimate conclusion depend on the decisions you make, the people you meet and the chances you take advantage of. You cannot sit idle and expect spectacular things to occur on their own. You must first take charge and then make your decisions wisely. It is not everyday someone stumbles onto something like what I have, and I know I'm no genius, or traveller extrodinaire, but seeing new things through travel, and meeting new people simply by saying "Hi my name is ________" is the smartest thing anyone can do. I have had some bad days since I got here, some days are harder than others. But those are the days you push yourself harder. Even to just get out of bed and explore the city alone... you can't ever give up on yourself, or your expectations of yourself. I know that by moving I may have missed out on some... really amazing things, but at the same time, if I hadn't moved I know myself well enough that I would always have wondered "what if". That would be the biggest regret I ever could have forced myself into, and I am so glad I didn't...
Well then, my simple explanation of my day and going to the zoo definately turned into a bit more then, eh? I just want my family and friends to know I love them and miss them, and that sometimes it is too difficult to reply to messages all the time, and although I would love to write eveyone back, and skype constantly, it is rather difficult to do so. I hope everyone understands, and that everyone is doing well, I promise I will be sending replies when I can!
xoxo From Poland
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